Paris Through the Lens

 

     

 

 

Day 17: Going Home!

So, where did I leave off? 
Continuing narration of Saturday's events: after I wrote my blog post last night we decided to make it a whizz bang of an evening by going out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, The Volunteer. We also went ahead and decided to take our trash out. We were just leaving to go out when Galen announced, much to our surprise, that he had just inadvertently locked the key in the flat. We all marveled at how this had never happened before, all these days we'd gone out. It kind of made us thankful for not having that happen before on those days when we were on a tight schedule or had a train to catch. After making some calls, we headed to dinner and ended up having a lovely evening. The Volunteer is one of our favorite eating spots because we love the atmosphere, the people are friendly, and the food is fabulous and reasonably priced. It also may or may not be my favorite place due to the fact that they offer a chocolate trifle with salted caramel topping. Yum? It has a bar on the opposite side of the room, so it was a bit louder and rowdier than usual, bur it was rather fun to be on the "outside looking in" at a bar scene. At least, for easily entertained people watchers like myself. Both Victoria and I can't stand alcohol, and we constantly made jokes about how we go into to a pub and order a tap water and a chicken Caesar salad. :) 

We also went on a last minute run to the sweetie shop. Gotta get your Dairymilk  while you still can! Have I discussed British sweets? I believe I haven't. Allow me to give my dissertation. First of all, you'd be hard pressed to find any high fructose corn syrup or even plain corn syrup in any of their candies. They all use sugar or glucose syrup. The most popular bar here are the Dairymilk bars mentioned above. They eclipse the sale of snickers and m&m's by a huge margin. They come plain or filled with caramel or studded with nuts. Popular also are toffees and fudges, with clotted cream fudge the favorite fudge flavor. They have a variety of starburst-like candies, and some chewy lifesaver knockoffs that aren't too bad either. Now, last but not least, let's talk shortbreads. Yes, they make plain, but the crowning jewel of he British shortbread empire would have to be the Millionaire variety. It consists of a bottom layer of shortbread topped with a thick caramel and topped in milk or dark chocolate. In other words, it is divinity on earth. I am so impressed with it that I may add it to my baking repertoire. It is quite popular and can be found in virtually any store. 

Okay, now that your keyboard or ipad is covered in drool, let's continue. We eventually got back into our flat using a secret method that I am not at liberty to divulge here. :)

We finished packing and went to bed. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 10, so we opted to give ourselves plenty of time to allow for any of the many unforeseen impediments that could come our way. We successfully got through our beloved tube for the last time (goodbye, tube! You were the best!) 

We then boarded the Heathrow express train that would take us to the airport. Our biggest fear for the day was our luggage weight limit. We had no way of checking to see how much our luggage weighed, so we did our best at weight distribution and hoped for the best. Nobody wants to pay £100 for a bag that's too heavy. Victoria's checked case was the heaviest, at least when we compared weights by holding the bags, and so we thought it best to weigh hers first and then redistribute if necessary. We all head our breath as the scale ticked up and up, and were extremely relieved and amazed when her bag registered 22.5 kg- .5 kg off the maximum weight. Our luggage all passed the weight check, much to our relief. After a brief rendition of the Hallelujah chorus sung by yours truly, we proceeded to the border and security check.

They seem to be a bit more thorough here than in the US, as I got flagged for the nearly identical suitcase contents that were approved in the US. So, the lady, who was nice enough, had to go through everything in the case a couple of times, send my camera and laptop through the scanner multiple times. After this was through and they had completed a search of my bags worthy of a criminal  mastermind, I repacked my bag and headed to where Victoria and Galen were waiting. Galen had similar troubles with his bags but got it sorted out nonetheless. We must be dangerous folks, we who carry French Chocolates and tea in their bags. 

We relaxed a bit In the lounge area and got some breakfast before going to our gate and awaiting our plane. Heathrow is really nice, and British innovation is evident here as well as int he rest of the country. For example , they have a giant fenced playground area for the kids I the middle of the terminal. Kids can slide down a bouncy slide or bop a beefeater shaped punching bag if they are feeling punchy. They also stick your baggage claim sticker with a removable sticker on the back of your passport for easy reference. 

We got on our plane just fine and sat next to a really nice guy coming back from an aviation conference in London. Mark lives in Texas, and we ended up chatted with him for a good while before we all either resorted to sleep or stimulation of the electronic kind (movies, iPods, etc.) I journaled some before watching Great Expectations ( the one with Helena Bonham Carter) and The Devil Wears Prada. The latter was okay, and I mainly watched it because Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway co-star in it. Good underlying message though, and very funny. The former was a fairly decent shot at adapting Dickens 'original book, which happens to be a favorite of mine in its own right. The movie missed a few key situations and left out the ever-creepy yet necessary character of Horlick, but taken at face value and viewed as a time killer for airplane travel, it suited me quite well. My favorite television adaptation to date of Great Expectations is the BBC version, the one starring Gillian Anderson. that one goes exactly by the book. 

Anyway, the flight went fine and we all disembarked successfully. Maybe it's because I don't travel much, but I am still amazed that I can walk on one continent in the morning and then be 6789 miles away a mere 7 1/2 hours later. Still blows my mind. 

We got asked pointed questions per usual at border security. The one they surprised us with this time was: "who paid for this trip?" We were able to proudly say that each of us paid our own way, thank you, with our hard earned money. No benefactors here, Mr. Security guy!

Our baggage made it just fine, and we were told that our parents would be waiting at the claim area, but we didn't see them. So, we turned he corner and started walking down a long hall. At the end of the hall, at a great distance, I could just barely make of a group of people, I didn't know who, but they had a lot of little people and were holding colorful balloons. I realized it was our entourage, and with a "That's them!" I told Victoria and Galen, and we walked faster, grinning ear to ear. They all started waving madly at us and jumped up and down. Still grinning, we walked yet quicker, wanting badly to wave madly back at them, but our two rolling suitcases each required both our hands. When we finally got to them, it was hugs and kisses all round, a very happy reunion. I missed them so much! I think the kids all grew, either that, or I got shorter. After talking and catching up for a little while, we moved to the bus that would shuttle us to our respective cars. It was sad saying goodbye to Victoria! She has been such a great companion and planner extraordinaire the whole trip, and she's like a sister to me, as we can read each other's minds to some extent. Not kidding! She's coming to bake next week, so it's not too long before we will see each other again.

I am glad to be back in the states, even though it's sad leaving London, the city I have come to love so much. I am also pleased because I am coming back refreshed and ready to take on the craziness and challenges of life once again. This isn't the end of my blogging, however, as I have grown quite attached to it over the past few weeks, so you may be hearing from me more regularly here. I will also be posting pictures here once I get them all consolidated.

We are spending the night in Charlotte tonight, because, as some of you readers may know, my Dad is heading on a business/ mission trip to the Ukraine tomorrow morning. he will be staying around a week, working with some bee stuff as well as a local mission group, the same one that my Papa worked with when he used to serve there every year. Check out this link to a video telling about what he will be doing there. Prayers would be appreciated for his trip.

Day 16: Hastings Battlefield

Today was our last and final day in England. Though I am sad that these adventures must come to an end, I am so thankful for the blessing of all the experiences we have had and the kind people that have helped us on our way. God has blessed us and provided for us in so many ways while on this trip!

This blog has been so much fun to write. At times it was challenging to keep up, but the satisfaction of jotting things down overrided any inconvenience caused. I would liken myself to a sponge, as I would be busy absorbing the experiences throughout the day. The writing of this blog has been a "wringing of the sponge" so to speak. I get out all my thoughts and rambles, fresh from my brain and stored away for later use and contemplation (and sometimes editing, if I've misspelled something.) :)

Today was the day we planned to visit the battlefield where the Battle of Hastings took place in 1066. This trip was added to the itinerary at my request. Being fascinated by Early Medieval and English History, this particular battlefield was one that I just couldn't pass up.

It made an appropriate visit for our last day, I might add, because this particular battle resulted in the complete and lasting conquest of a previously Anglo-Saxon England. In a way, the outcome of this battle and the new Norman king it ushered in is responsible for creating the English culture that we know and appreciate to this day. More on that in a minute.

We took the train to a little town called "Battle." No, I'm not speaking in jest, it is actually called Battle, and the tiny train depot is called Battle Station. :) We got a kick out of that. Hilarity and puns ensued.

It was only a 10 minute walk from the station and through the tiny town to get to Battle Abbey and the Battlefield. We opted to walk the battlefield itself first, as it was the thing I was most keen on getting to see. It was so lovely to be in fields and woods once more! Not to mention the fields and woods of an ancient battlefield. The audio guides that we got were wonderful, and as you walked through, it would tell you about the battle and made the history really come alive. The walk ended up being around 30 minutes long and went around the entire periphery of the field.

So, on to the battle and the context. If you don't like history, skip it.

The Normans were originally Vikings that settled themselves in the northwest of what we would call modern day France in the early 10th century. They took control, and intermarried and blended with the original inhabitants and essentially took over, styling themselves Counts and Dukes of Normandy. They created a powerful state around the mouth of the river Seine. William had a claim on the throne of England, due to the fact that he was descended from Richard the II, Duke of Normandy, who was the uncle of Kind Edward of England. After King Edward died childless, the throne was greatly contested, but a man named Harold Godwineson was chose by the Witen to take the throne. King Harold was Anglo Saxon, of course, being of Germanic and Danish descent.

Meanwhile, William, having success with conquering Italy, decides to shift his sights to England.

Harold, hearing of William's plans, musters his forces near the little town of modern day Battle. After landing at and promptly conquering the town of Pevensy, William and his 7,000 well trained troops meet with Harold's forces at Seniac hill on October 13, 1066. The battle was close, but in the end, the Normans won out. To get an idea of the scale of this battle, the average English town held 2,400 residents. On that day in October, over 7,000 men were killed. After the battle, William continued his conquest northward and on Christmas Day made it to London and was crowned king in Westminster Abbey.

So, why is this battle so important? For one thing, the Norman conquest was responsible for our modern day English language. The French spoken in the Norman courts gradually blended with the Anglo-Saxon tongue, resulting in modern day English. They also created many of the castles and grand architecture we enjoy today, such as the Tower of London, which was the first of William's many castles. The Normans were also able to but a stop to the Vikings' "hit and run" style raids on the country. In all likelihood and in my opinion, if England had been left to itself, the Vikings would have probably taken over the country, and I might be typing this blog post in a Germanic-Scandinavian tongue instead.

I could go on, but I'll leave it at that. Such an awesome place to visit! Nothing like walking up the hill of a thousand year old battlefield with the clear blue sky overhead and the soft grass beneath your feet.

We had lunch at an adorable little tea shop, where we enjoyed some awesome soup and a proper cream tea. We hadn't had time to drink much tea while we have been here so it was nice to finally enjoy some. :) Such a lovely little place!

We are mostly going to be packing tonight, as our plane leaves tomorrow morning at 10 am. When I get home I will try to post some pictures at some point. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and I think I've written about a thousand words for every picture I've taken. :)

Here's a few
Quoteables from the Travellers

*retrieves his tickets from the self service ticket machine*
"There's nothin' like the smell of hot fresh tickets in the morning!" ~Galen

"I heartily give my seal of approval. Not that it's worth anything. Why did you ask me my opinion anyway?"

"Hold on.....allow me to put in my speech impediment (his retainer.) ~Galen

"You know, when I was little, I used to wish that I'd get hit by an ambulance. Awkward!!"

"I'm as happy as a duck.....I mean, a clam!"

*Ferrari drives by, dangerously close*
"You know, if I had my choice, I'd rather get hit by a Ferrari than any other car!"

"Yes, I have always wanted these two things to happen to me, to pass out, and to have a nosebleed."

*at the underground, waiting on a train*
"Ick, I just got something in my eye! It was, like a cinder or something!"

And, I couldn't resist this one overheard at a restaurant:
*thick British accent*
"So, Mary, when you were in the states, did you have this stuff they refer to as.....ah..... 'Peach Cobbler' whilst you were visiting?"
"Oh, indeed, it was quite good, and it's like a pie but not quite, not crust but a topping instead. Then again, I never met a pie I didn't like......"

Day 15: Speedy's, Buckingham Palace, and Dinner at Duncan and Rebecca's

We started out our morning on the tube, where most all good mornings start out. It was, however, so crammed that we had to wait a little while before getting on one after seeing that the first 2 resembled a tubular can of human sardines. The one we got on was not packed but became so after a stop at Oxford Circus. One unfortunate little Chinese lady was squished so close to the door that if she hadn't leaned her head back at the last second her glasses would have been caught in the closing door. Upon questioning of the local populace, we discovered that sometimes people get their hair-yes, their hair-stuck in the door when it's super packed. Thankfully, this has never happened to us.

We took our breakfast at Speedy's. What? You haven't heard of Speedy's? Allow me to explain. In the BBC TV series of Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock lives in the flat just above Speedy's, so it is in the background of virtually every episode whenever Sherlock or Watson leave their flat. The food was excellent, and my mushroom omelette ended up being a bargain at £4. Unless you are a Sherlock fan you would never know it was semi- famous. The only way you could tell that it was on TV were the pictures from fiming and the autographs from Benedict Cumberbatch. We took a load of pictures from different angles, and when were were across the street, his old guy walked by and immediately ascertaining what we were up to, said that they had been filming an episode in London last week. 

We next proceeded to take he tube to a place of Galen's choosing, the Star Wars store. It was situated smack dab in the middle of nowhere, and turned out to be not quite what Galen expected. They seem to do most of their business online, as the shop itself was small and somewhat loosely run. It did, however, have some fairly awesome costumes, prompting me to seriously consider being Princess Leia to he next costume party I happen to attend. 

After another long ride back on the tube, we stopped at the Tintin shop, which had all kinds of cool products related to our favorite Herge' character. Our next stop was Trafalgar Square, named in memory of the great battle of Trafalgar and the hero of that battle, Lord Nelson, who is ensconced upon an extremely high pedestal in the very center. It is also a good place for street performers, including a group of break dancers, a bagpiper, and a guy dressed as a pirate. The latter chiefly did nothing but wave at passers-by whilst sitting in a chair, expecting to receive (for such a great effort on his part) any spare coins you happen to have available. The other performers, at least, did something. The piper was amazing and it sounded like we were back in good old Edinburgh. The break dancers were okay, but give me a choice between the two and I'll always pick the bagpiper. :)

We ate lunch at an Italian place near the square. The food was really good, the waiter was a tad bit creepy though. He kept starting at me and at one point I saw him standing at the bar, showing the bartender something on his phone that looked like I was being compared to, as they kept glancing at me, then at the phone. This same waiter also held the door for us when we left (it was all Galen could do not to crack up. He didn't do it for any other customers.)
Weird. Maybe I look like an Italian soap opera star.

Today was our day to take a tour of Buckingham palace, and we made our way there and got some tickets. Finding ourselves with the need to use he bathroom before our tour, we headed to Victoria station to pay 30 pence to use their bathrooms. 

Next, a small miracle ensued. Victoria had lost her ticket somewhere along the way from the bathrooms, and couldn't remember where she had last seen it. She had an idea that she may have set it down on a rock wall before we went to the bathrooms. Being still in possession of her receipt, she thought she would ask an attendant if anything could be done. The attendant made some calls and discovered that another employee had discovered her exact ticket blowing across the lot adjacent to where we were. So, Victoria was  able to retrieve her lost ticket and not have to purchase a new one!

We arrived in time to take our tour of the Buckingham palace state rooms.  I noticed that the predominant demographic that wishes to visit Buckingham is older folks, mostly older ladies. There was a particular group of older British ladies in front of us that were really blinged out in the red, white and blue of the Union Jack . By far, Buckingham was the most stunning royal living space we had yet beheld on our trip. It also led to my theory that the favorite colors of the royals are red, white, and gold.  Or, at least their favorite colors and materials for using in their state rooms. It was fun to try and spot the many creative ways that the architect worked in the three emblems of the main countries of the UK- the rose of England, the thistle of Scotland, and the Shamrock of Ireland. Usually they were crafted of Gold and tucked  into the crown molding of the ceiling. So many stunning details and SO much gold!

After we were done feeling painfully plain and quite common (to quote one young Australian girl, "Mum, it's all so grand, doesn't it make you wish you were a royal?") we went in search of some dessert to bring to Dinner tonight at Duncan and Rebecca's house. Do you know how embarrassing it is for me to BUY a store bought package of shortbread? Someone in my line of work? You can't imagine. Oh, the heresy.... anyways, we did get some nice dessert items and then traveled to their home.

They live outside London, and we happened to meet them at our church in mid-August, as they were visiting some family in the US for the late summer. They were so kind as to invite us to their house for dinner while we are in England, and it was so wonderful to be in a "home" again and enjoy a delicious meal of Spaghetti Bolognese and excellent conversation. It felt like we had known them for years, even though we had only met them once before.

It was after dinner when I received, unexpectedly, my favorite souvenir to date. I had just been telling them how much I enjoyed reading English History and studying the Kings and Queens of times past, when Duncan handed me a little book called "Kings and Queens; Poems by Eleanor and Herbert Farjeon." Now, I love poetry and I also love Kings and Queens, so this little book fascinated me. Essentially, it is a collection of poems, one for every King and Queen of England from William the Conqueror to the Present Queen, Elizabeth the 2nd. I knew it was an awesome book when I read the first line of the poem for William the first:

"William the First was the first of our kings,
Not counting Ethelreds, Egberts, and things,
And he had himself crowned and anointed and blest 
In Ten-Sixty-I-Needn't-Tell-You-The-Rest."
(that won't mean much to you lest you are a King and Queen geek. I found it brilliant.)

When I handed it back to Duncan, he said, "You can have it. It would be far easier for me to get another copy than for you to get one in the US." I was so shocked. It was so generous of him, and I didn't feel I could accept it, but I did in the end, and I am so thankful for this gift.

After saying our "goodbyes," we walked to the station and headed home on the tube. Naturally, I read some more of the book on the tube ride home. :)

Well, now it's off to bed. I really can't believe that tomorrow is our last day!

Day 14: Oxford and C.S. Lewis' House

Today we visited the town of Oxford, England. It is quite accessible, at only 1 hour by train from London. Obviously, the most famous aspect of Oxford is its university known by the same name.  Famous people associated with Oxford include C.S. Lewis, who attended there, and Lewis Carroll, who taught there. Our train ride to the town was uneventful enough, and we walked from he station to visit Christ Church, the cathedral that is the center of campus life. It was like a mini Westminster abbey, with its vaulted ceilings, beautiful stained glass and underground vaults. It also has a choir and pipe organ beautifully situated in the back of the church. 

We were also allowed in to see the great hall where the prefects are served meals. It was an inspiration for the Great Hall used in Harry Potter, and is hung with portraits of the famous teachers and people that attended the school.  Photography was allowed almost everywhere we went today, so I should have plenty of pictures to post soon.

We spied a bookshop near our lunch destination, and stopped in to browse around while we waited for the pub to open. It was the best book store we have found thus far in all our travels, for these reasons:


1. They had numerous old copies of one of my favorite author's books (Charles  Dickens.)
2. Said books were extremely inexpensive. I got a copy of A Child's History of England with a section of numerous short Christmas stories in the back for £2.40. That kind of pricing is unheard of! Especially for the 1920 copy I chose. 
3. The staff was both friendly and knowledgeable. A rarity, for sure. It seems that you can either get one or thee other these days.
4. They sold Chocolates. 
'nuff said.
These four reasons fit into my criteria for best book shop. 

Once we were loaded with two of the most divine substances know to man (books and chocolate,) we located the Eagle and Child, the notable pub famous for meetings between C.S. Lewis and JRR Tolkein. Forming a group of writers known as the "inklings," they would meet on Tuesday mornings to discuss their latest writing sand read works aloud. It is said that Lewis read the first few chapters of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe here. It had personality for sure, that pub did. The guy running the bar did too, and when he asked what state we were from, expressed his inability to assist those North Carolinians among us who were Duke fans. Funny that he could be privy to such knowledge. Once we assured him that our sympathies lied elsewhere, he happily took our food orders and we sat in the same room where Tolkien and Lewis held their meetings. There were little subtle touches everywhere to remind you of their influence. On the top of the beer glass cabinet sits a Gollum statue, while quotes from Lord of the Rings are written here and there on blackboards that hang on the wall. 

Next, things got a little interesting. Victoria had carefully planned out directions to go to a bridge where we could watch people "punt," which is the British version of the gondola sporting often seen in Italy. Unfortunately, we got completely and utterly lost. At one point we were walking through a semi-private looking neighborhood and ended trying to trailblaze through the town park and then crossed a stream. No, not kidding. I was dressed city slicker style with black high boots and a black dress and messenger bag, crossing a stream on a rock outcropping. Thankfully, no one was paying enough attention to notice the crazy Americans gallavanting about. But, I tell you, there is no better way to see a city than to crisscross that city in a spiderweb like manner. We got to see the "real" Oxford, with the construction guys bantering with each other as they fix a tile roof, little schoolgirls using scooters as their preferred method of transport, or the sharply dressed Oxford students walking through the park on the way to class. We never found the bridge (or, at least, our directions were faulty,) but you know what? We got to see practically the whole city from the ground level.

Our next stop was one that I had been looking forward to our entire trip. We were blessed to visit the Kilns, C.S. Lewis' home in Oxford. We got to tour the entire house and see the pond that he and his friend Tolkien would sit and muse while looking over. It was absolutely surreal to see the very spots that he would write his works and essays.

His house was restored by an American foundation that took on the responsibility of bringing the house back to its original glory after it fell into disrepair a few decades ago. ( Let's just say that a previous owner decided to remake the house into a 70's decor scheme. Then,  it became abandoned and weather-worn. All the proceeds from tours go to this foundation. I have a lot of pictures that I will try to post at a later date. I even got a picture of the worn places on the floor from where Lewis would scoot his chair up to his desk by the window. Amazing! We were also able to visit the little church where he is buried, only a 10 minute walk from his home. The lady who led our tour, Dr. Debbie Higgins, is currently working on a book called the Anglo-Saxon community in J.R.R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings," due out this fall. She was very knowledgeable on Lewis and his life, and even let us try some Turkish Delight while on our tour. :)

After this we caught a train and travelled back to London. Nothing worth noting happened on this particular train, other than there was an adorable baby sitting opposite me. That's always a nice way to end the day. :)

Day 13: Windsor Castle, Bath, Lacock, and Stonehenge

Today the shuttle bus was supposed to pick us up at 7:40 am at the Landmark hotel. Shuttle buses take you to Victoria Coach Station, where you are then delivered to your coach (meaning: bus, don't get excited. We weren't riding horses for the day.) Notice I said, supposed to come, and shuttle buses are extremely prompt. Then, the idea popped into our heads to go ahead and go to Victoria station ourselves, since the bus obviously wasn't coming and we would miss our pre-paid tour. But, we would have to absolutely book it between stops if we had any hope of getting there before our bus left for the day. So, we restored to our beloved tube, and had 20 minutes to get there before all was lost. So, we ran in between terminals like crazy people. Galen took the lead, then me, then Victoria. I felt like I was a wide receiver running routes with all the dodging and racing around. A memorable situation was at the last desperate push for the station when we were really putting on the jets, Galen and I were running side by side in a wide, long corridor floored by marble. It was relatively deserted, except for the little cleaner dude on a riding floor washer who was mopping the floor. I noticed the  "WET FLOOR" sign ahead of me, and didn't slow down, for I saw, miraculously, a little strip of land about a foot wide that was the only dry part of the floor left inside the whole of that side of the building. So, we ran on the dry land and got to our coach just as it was boarding. We were all rather out of breath and sweaty, but we did it. We passed the examination level test to our Master Level Tube Experience Certificate. We had found the shortest route and were able to get there in record time. Extraordinary beginnings lead to Extraordinary trips, I say.

Once safely sequestered in our coach, we met our driver, a jolly, energetic, and highly eccentric British man named Steve. If you have listened to any of the audio dramatized versions of the Chronicles of Narnia, you would immediately realize that his voice sounded exactly like that of Puddleglum. But, unlike that famous marshwiggle, Steve was not glum. In fact, we probably added about 5 years to our lifespan (if one can do that sort of thing) from laughing at the things he said today. He grew up in the Isle of Wight, and is one of those well rounded gentleman who has done virtually everything, from being in the Army Special forces,  travelling the world, serving his country as a paratrooper, to his present occupation as tour guide and extremely knowledgeable source on everything British History and Culture. He is one of those people that is practically electric in mannerisims and personality. He rarely sat down while he narrated us on our trip, but stood up almost the entire time to point out places of interest or use crazy hand motions to illustrate a point. He also had an affinity for John Deere tractors and a dislike for Camilla Parker Bowles (Prince Charles' wife after Diana.) All you need to know about that is his nickname for her, Camilla the Gorilla. We knew we were in for a wild ride when he introduced himself in this manner:
"Well, my name is Steve and I'll be your guide for today. I was born at a very early age and I slapped me mum before I could even talk. Before I was 5, the only people that would play with me were scientists. Eventually, me Mum grew tired of that and she tied a lamb chop 'round me neck so's the dog would play with me...."

Like I did before when Jaime was our tour guide, I have assembled a collection of quotes from Steve for your enjoyment later on. He deserves his own special column.

We began to travel to Windsor Castle, which was built in 1066 by William the Conqueror. It was made of wood initially, but was rebuilt in stone in 1170. Meaning, it is an extremely old castle, and the royals have called it home since Henry the First in 1100. According to our guide, the royals think of Buckingham as "the office" and Windsor as "home."

On our way there, we drove by a little row house that was inhabited in time past by a man named Sydney Camm, the guy responsible for inventing the Hawker Hurricane plane used in World War II and, particularly, in the Battle of Britain, an air battle that took place during the summer and autumn of 1940.
They say that the war would have turned out differently if not for this unsung hero.

And, as if touring Windsor wasn't cool enough, before we went through security we ran into Maribeth, TJ, and their Grandparents! We knew that they also were touring Windsor that day, and had wondered if we would run into them. Such a treat! We got to look at Queen Mary's Dollhouse with them before we parted ways and they went to tour the royal kitchens. The dollhouse was amazing! It was made for Queen Mary and had all the latest and best accoutrements: electric lights, real wine in the bottles, miniature copies of actual books sitting on the shelves, etc.

After proceeding through to the main hall, we took in some of the state rooms. Once again, no pictures permitted inside the state rooms. As our guide Steve put it, before we walked into the rooms:
"I'm going to tell you something that'll save your life."
That got everyone's attention.
"If these finicky people catch you taking pictures in these rooms, you will be taken up to the tower of London. There, they will remove your head from your body using a rusty spoon."


The place was amazing, absolutely incredible. I especially liked the queen's state room, where she takes in visitors who were lucky enough to be granted a private audience with her. They had the walkway set up so that you would be walking just as she would when she walks in to greet them. The artwork here was astounding as well.

We go back into our coach and headed for the fabulous town of Bath. Those who call Bath home at least part of the year include Jude Law, Nicholas Cage, Johnny Depp, John Cleese, and Mick Jagger.

In the past, many famous artists, writers, and artisans called Bath home, including Lord Nelson, Jane Austen,  George Eliot, and the poet Percy Bysshe Shelley and his wife Mary, who wrote the book Frankenstein. Not to mention King George I, II, III, and IIII all went to Bath with their entourage each year. It is incredibly rich in history all the way back to the time of the Romans, who were the original founders of Bath. They were quite fond of its hot springs, and, as the Roman lifestyle revolved around bathing and hydrotherapy, the town was named "Bath" and a town was born. Their influence was great, and interestingly enough, farmers keep discovering golden objects and relics hidden in the soft soil of their fields to this day. They were left by the Romans fleeing their British territory to help defend Rome against attacks by the Visigoths. They buried them, intending to retrieve them later once the Visigoths were conquered, but they never returned for them.

I have lots of pictures from Bath that I will post later. If you are at all familiar with the Jane Austen, her characters are constantly "going to Bath" or "taking in Bath for the winter." You walk the streets of this town and you just expect Mr. Darcy or Mr. Knightley to walk around the corner. It's that authentic, yet still updated with nice little shops and eateries. Speaking of Mr. Darcy, on the way to Bath we drove by the gate leading to the house where he "lived" in the BBC production of Pride and Prejudice. We also got to see the city of Bristol, Wales from a distance.

When we got back on the bus, we noticed one of the guys travelling by himself was reading Sherlock Holmes. We asked him about it, and he said that this was his first time reading it and he was really enjoying it. We couldn't quite place his accent, but he definitely looked European. More on him later.

Our next stop was the little town of Lacock (pronounced lay-cock.) If you have seen Emma or Pride and Prejudice, you have seen this town. It has no visible electricity lines or anything modern outside the houses, and the buildings are all authentic and dating form the 1100's. The houses are amazing and we learned how the houses were built using no bolts or nails, only wood, plaster, and other raw materials. When something has been standing for hundreds upon hundreds of years, it really makes you appreciate the kind of craftmanship that is behind it.

We ate lunch at a pub called The George, the oldest pub in all of England. This pub got the first ever liquor license in 1361 and has been serving the public in the same little building ever since. I got fish and chips, which was excellent. We sat at a table with Lucas, the guy from the coach that was reading Sherlock. Turns out, he just finished high school and decided to do a little traveling before heading to university. When we asked him where he was from, he said, "I speak English, German, Spanish, and French....can you guess where I'm from?" Turns out he's from Austria, and has been in London for about 2 weeks visiting a friend. He's moving to France for 2 months soon.

While in Lacock we were also shown a "Blind house," a house used for locking up drunkards at night to keep them contained. It was a little round hut with no holes. This is how the phrase "blind drunk" came about.

Next came Stonehenge. As we drove, we got to see a lot of the land that their millitary uses for practice grounds for their weapons and artillery. We also drove by one of the RAF bases too. The land gets really flat right around stonehenge, and it's absolutely beautiful country. The sun was just setting as we arrived, so we got some great pictures of the Henge with the sun streaming through the stone. They say that on the day of the summer solstice, you can see the sun come up smack dab in the middle of one of the archways. It was incredible.

We rode back to London and got off at Gloucester street along with Lucas, the teenage Austrian guy who we had kind of taken up with at this point. We rode the tube with him as he was headed in a similar direction, and got to talk a bit more with him. Right before we parted ways we were discussing stereotypes of different countries, and how Americans have a reputation of being dumb and rather selfish. For example, did you know that an American visiting Windsor castle once asked Prince Harry "Why did you all build your castle so near Heathrow Airport? Isn't it very noisy?" We have a lot to overcome as American tourists.

When we finally told him goodbye, he said, "You all are some non typical Americans, I must say." That was nice to hear.

And now, without further ado, I present to you:
Steve's Quote Section

*counts all of us before we leave* "One two three four.........thirty seven! It's a miracle! Friends, there is a God!!"

"You see that statue over there? (modern art statue of a man's legs sticking out of the ground) "That statue is a memorial. You see, this man fell out of an airplane last week. It's also a memorial for those who enjoy sticking their heads in the sand."

"This is our noble driver, Nathan. He's been driving coaches since before they were invented."

"Here's what we do when we regular old chaps want to buy something at Harrod's. We put away our money for months and months and months and months months and months and months and months months and months and months and months and months and months and months and months, then we go into Harrod's all proud, you see. And, we goes in there and gets ourselves a pencil eraser."

"You see that frightful ugly building over there? Well, it was built by two inexperienced window washers named Luigi the Squeegee and Sammy the Chamois....."

"The Victoria and Albert museum has many artifacts of interest. Two of my ex-wives are in there, in the flea section. Their Mothers are in the dinosaur section."

"Are there any American's on board? *raises hand* This next bit of history will be of interest to you. You see, there's this country across this river that's always making a spot of trouble. Let's see if you can guess it. It starts with the letter "M." Have you guessed it yet? Why, this little ornery country is called 'Merica."

"See that other coach right there next to us? Whenever you see them going past I want you laughing, guffawing, and generally cracking up so they will feel sad they're not on this bus. We're going to out-fun them, you see!"

"That graveyard is the dead center of town. People are dying to get in there! Graveyards are easy to tell where famous ones are buried. Just ask the custodians and they'll tell you, "The man who invented the crossword puzzle? Why, he's across three and down two. The man who invented the postage stamp? In the upper right hand corner."

"Have fun, I gotta go get me a Valium sandwich. Be back in a tick!"

"Yep, that'd be England......four seasons in one day."

"Let me tell you why there are Mc Donald's in the UK. They exist to make Americans homesick, and Brits, sick."

Anytime a John Deere went by:
"Folks, I don't want to get you over-excited, but there is.....a..... John Deere going by on the left side."
"John Deere Alert! John Deere Alert!"
You should have seen him when we rode by the actual dealership.

"One day I was giving a tour of St. James Palace. I was just giving a speech about Camilla and it was Camilla the Gorilla this, and Camilla the Gorilla that, and I looks over and sees this lady in my group that kept trying to tell me to "shush!" or "don't say that!" and I looks over and there, behind me, stands Camilla Parker Bowles, plain as day. Thankfully, she was not irate but thought it was funny.

After anything he said unsavory to the crown, he would say:
"Aaaaand there goes my knighthood. Take me to the Tower!"

Yelled to Galen and Victoria, as they crossed the street in Lacock:
"If you run you'll make it, if you don't, you'll die!"

"You know, these football (soccer) games just never make much sense to me. You know, these men all rushing about, trying to get that ball. I mean, can't they just have the sense to give each man their own ball and stop this fighting?"

"Now, rugby's the game for gentlemen. You see, they start out with this big, communal group hug in the center of the field. Now, just when you think they're getting all cozy and things are going right well, they have the nerve to drop a ball in there, and all hell breaks loose."


"Now, if you're single, I would like to draw your attention to the grocery store to your right. On Thursday nights after 8:30, pick up an orange colored basket and bam! you're on the market. Can't you imagine how romantic It'd be to meet your future husband in the local Sainsbury's? "I reached for the peas, and he reached for the carrots, and then our eyes just met, and, well? the rest is history!"

Riding through the military zone:
"See those cows over there? They are not cows, you see. They are Secret Agent Army Specialists in cow-moflage. They even won an award last week for being the best in their field. You can tell they are agents if you can just make out the zipper on the back"

"Here in Britain, we don't like to kill our beef by stun on gun. Rather inhuman, I'd say. Here's what we do. We put them at the top of a high building and play a recording of my life story on the loudspeaker. By the time I've got to age four they've thrown themselves off the building. We let them off themselves. And if you look just to the left, you'll see some now." (there was a dairy building we just happened to be passing with cows posing on the roof.)

"Now, we are getting ready to pass by a statue of Nathan (the driver) that was made in honor of him a few years ago. Now Nathan worships the devil and this is a statue of him giving thanks to the devil for the arrival of his driver's license a few years ago." (poor Nathan, Steve loved to pick on him."

After he got through telling us not to leave anything on board the coach
"And Nathan wanted to add that if you do happen to leave your camera, please leave the instruction booklet and an extra pair of batteries as well."

"We have 3 kinds of deer in this country. Red deer, Brown deer, and John Deere."