Hudson's Version
Waking Up
I began thinking seriously about marriage when I asked myself, “If you had to choose right now who you would marry or forever lose your chances of marriage, who would you choose?” Without spending any time thinking about it the answer came to mind: Margaret Wilkes. That was in September 2013.
I remember being surprised when the answer came so easily. But I didn’t have to choose at that moment so I did not choose. After a couple years of not choosing the question became “What are you waiting for?” I told myself I was waiting for a good reason to get married; something that would be a very a clear word from God.
I understand Christian marriage to be a gift from and a responsibility to God. It can be seen as a symbol of the relationship between Father and Son. As with every other part of God’s creation, it is meant to glorify Him. This by itself is a good reason to marry, but it wouldn’t have helped me decide who to marry other than by eliminating non-Christian women as candidates for my wife.
More recently it became clear to me that Margaret was the good reason I was waiting for. There was no reformation of my theology or change in reasoning or even a revelation of new facts. It was more like waking up.
September 20th, 2015: The Start of a Winning Season
Previous to September 20th (I don’t remember exactly when) Liam Kiser invited me to go to a Panthers football game in Charlotte on the 20th with himself, Sullivan and Margaret. I had never been to a big sports game in my life and I knew very little about this particular sport. It is possible that Liam simply desired my company, but it became apparent as the date approached that he wanted someone to drive…and provide the wheels. I decided to go, knowing that I would enjoy the company if not the game.
Margaret and I spent time talking on the drive down. I gathered facts about Margaret’s preferences on various subjects from politics to grocery shopping, all of which reinforced my impression of her as a woman of competence and solid character with the ability to think clearly and make good decisions.
The game was fun to watch. Being right there in the stadium gave me a sensation similar to the sensation I got when I stood on the edge of the Grand Canyon: being faced with “the real thing” instead of a representation by photographs or live video. Cam Newton did a front flip into the end zone and I got a sunburn that hurt for two weeks. Basically, it was a pretty standard NFL football game.
Equally important as the time spent with Margaret was the time leading up to it. Knowing that I was going to be around her for 8+ hours on a certain day in the future brought back to mind some questions which I had answered a long time before based on longstanding knowledge of Margaret and her family. Was the Wilkes family a reasonable, straight-talking, honest bunch of folks? Were they Christians? Did they have a good work ethic? Did I like them? Did they like me? Did Margaret have dignity in her character and in the in the way she carried herself? Would I be proud to have Margaret at my side? Was she generally competent? Would she make an excellent wife? By this point (and for a while before) the answers to all these questions were blaringly obvious. In spite of all the variables the equation was reducible and ultimately simple: Margaret Wilkes = excellent wife. By the end of the day I had decided I should marry Margaret Wilkes if at all possible. From that point on it was a matter of timing.
September 25th: My Parents are My Allies
As my parents could tell you, I tend to keep my own counsel. I will get counsel by informing someone of a decision I am making or by telling them of a “leaning” that I am experiencing. In either case I would expect that person to quickly give pertinent guidance if they see I am about to make a poor decision or to give encouragement if they approve.
I knew my parents should be the first ones to know about my desire to marry Margaret. Through the week after September 20th I was waiting for the perfect opportunity to bring it up with them. I already knew they liked Margaret, so telling my parents was similar to joining forces with valuable allies.
I convinced them have dinner out with me on Friday on the pretext of something like a business meeting or plans for my future. Both were legitimate, the latter being broad enough to cover my intentions for marriage and the former being a subject for which we could spare a few words before getting to the real purpose of the meeting.
Basically, I told my parents what I have written here. They approved, and I told them my next step was to talk with Dr. Wilkes the following day.
September 26th: Finding the Doctor…of Computer Science
It took longer than I expected to find Dr. Wilkes. I went to the Farmer’s Market expecting to find him easily. After hanging out around the BGB and Faith Mountain Farm booths and talking with a few drifters I realized I was getting nowhere asked Sullivan for his Father’s phone number. Sullivan gave me the number but said he was involved in a special event at ASU and might be tied up.
I called Dr. Wilkes and sent text messages but got no response. I decided he was in fact busy and that I would have to find him and interrupt whatever he was doing.
In hindsight I would like to say that I was 100% determined to tell Dr. Wilkes on that day, but in fact while trying to find him I changed my mind and decided to go home and try again another day. Then I decided it was important enough to find him now, no matter what. But I changed my mind again. I pulled over and turned around three times before I finally went home. But by the time I got home I knew I was only withdrawing to regroup and would immediately sally forth for another attempt.
I like to be prepared. Semper Paratus. Geographical knowledge is important in new situations. I went online and familiarized myself with the ASU campus layout: the location of the computer science offices, the parking garage, Sanford Mall, Anne Belk, etc. With a printed copy of an official ASU campus map I set out to find the office of Dr. James Wilkes. I found the building and followed directions to the CS delegation. Fortunately, a gentleman who knew Dr. Wilkes was talking with some others and brought me to his office. He was not there, and this gentleman told me he may be over at the Holmes Center for the big event that was in process all over campus (“potential student tour day” or something like that). Eventually I got over to the Holmes Center and observed casually from the bleachers for a 10 to 20 minutes. I saw signs above different booths with the names of different academic departments or majors. I didn’t see anything for CS, so I walked out and over to the other side to get a different angle on the crowd below. Finally I observed Dr. Wilkes and made by way down and to him.
Everyone was dressed up to look nice….Students to impress the faculty and faculty to impress their parents. Coats and ties were everywhere. Dr. Wilkes had jeans and a t-shirt, so he was easy to pick out after I had the right angle on the crowd. I was dressed like a lumber-jack b/c I was planning to cut trees and get firewood that day, so I was surprised not to be stopped by a security guard. Rarely have I felt more out of place.
The exact wording from this point escapes me, but events progressed as follows. I asked Dr. Wilkes if I could have a few minutes of his time when he got a chance. He said he was about to go back to the Farmer’s Market and we could talk there. When we finally got together at the market, I told him I really really liked Margaret and that I expected to have a more specific proposition in a few months. We agreed to meet and ask questions back and forth within the next week or so. He asked if I had a preference on when and who would tell Margaret. I said I had no particular preference. I expected things to go on without Margaret knowing for a couple months, but as I found out later Dr. Wilkes told her that same night.
October 3rd: First Official Meeting
Margaret and I met to discuss marriage for the first time on October 3rd. I used that time to state the purpose of what I was doing; that I had chosen to seek marriage with her and that the next period of time would be for her to consider if she would want to marry me and for us to receive counsel from others. That is probably not all we talked about, but I remember it as that kind of landmark. That afternoon when I dropped her off at her house we sat down and talked with Dr. and Mrs. Wilkes. Dr. Wilkes and Margaret also clarified the purpose of the relationship, so I think we were all four on the same page from the beginning.
The Story Continues
I was privileged to spend some quality time with Margaret and the Wilkes family over the next month or so. Margaret has the details.
November 15th: Dropping a Locust Tree
On Sunday, November 15th, it seemed to me that if I asked Margaret to marry me my chances of her saying yes were well over 50%. Margaret and I had spent much time in intentional conversation up to that point, and we had another good discussion that evening at their house.
I asked Dr. Wilkes if I could talk with him outside for a minute and subsequently asked him for his permission to ask Margaret to marry me. He said something to the effect of “yes”. During that moment and the following minutes of discussion I felt the same physical sensation I experienced when holding my STIHL 271 chainsaw in the trunk of a tall locust tree. My left leg began to shake. It was a situation where anticipation was leading up to a single key result, one that had been prepared for and planned, but which could go one way or another. In one sense I knew what Dr. Wilkes was going to say because we had been communicating, similar to how I know where the trees I cut will fall because I observe from different angles and distances before cutting the first notch. Even so, there was still a possibility that events wouldn’t unfold as I personally would have preferred.
November 21st: The Question
As I have probably done with events herein recounted previously, I will undoubtedly leave out important details. I am attempting to describe the general course of events.
At some point I told my parents that I would be asking Margaret to marry me within the next week or so. It turned out that Saturday would be a good time to go out with Margaret for a walk, so at some point that week I told her parents that I would pose the question on Saturday. Both sets of parents were supportive of me.
Without an elaborate plan to surprise her (without any plan), I kept the ring in my pocket as we hiked seldom trodden paths in the Moses Cone area. I saw a hill that I expected would be nice on the other side and suggested that we make for it. Once there we had to make sure we were below the horizon of a photo-shoot going on higher up the hill. I presented the ring and asked “Margaret, will you marry me?” After an exclamation, she said yes.
Margaret's Version
"Margaret! I'm so excited for you! I didn't know you even liked Hudson!"
I didn't know I liked Hudson either y'all. But boy, I sure do!
The Lord did a major remodeling of my heart and mind earlier this year with regards to marriage and relationships. I learned a lot, and I began to internalize what I was learning about marriage and relationships. I began to truly realize that even if the Lord didn't see fit for me to get married, that would not be a problem, because of course, I could just as easily carry out his will whether I was married or not. I felt that it was quite obvious to me that I had zero idea of what I needed in a man, yet I knew that God did- he knows me even better than I know myself! So why waste any more thoughts, any more brain cells, on wondering if and when the Man Himself might come along? If your're single, you know exactly what I'm talking about here; the temptation to wonder and then almost simultaneously despair at the "lack of prospects" afforded you. I get it. I had "I don't need no man!" days, "what is wrong with me!" days, and "there are no good men left in the world" days.
Finding someone whom you'd really like enough to marry is hard enough, but to find someone that would meet my criteria? You can marry any Joe-off-the-street, but in this day and age, where do you find a man of quality? A Godly man? A true gentleman? And someone who not only possesses these qualities, but someone whom you would want to spend the rest of your life with? Needle in a haystack is a poor analogy. I had viewed it like finding a couple of identical snowflakes.
But I began to see that surely, this was just another issue of trust, of God saying to me-
"Do you trust me? Just trust me on this."
That being said, if you had told me earlier this year that I would be engaged by the end of the year- much less, engaged to a man of such high standing as Hudson- I would have laughed. My interest in relationships and marriage had faded into the background. Essentially, for lack of a better term, my "radar" was off. AWOL. Missing in Action. I decided that I was not going to waste more time worrying about if and when a man would come for me, so I busied myself with what I had in front of me. Looking back on my single years, I am satisfied with how I spent them. Among other things, I worked on our farm, baking for coffee shops and restaurants while getting my nutritional therapy certification and personal trainer certification. I jumped out of a plane once, traveled to Hawaii, Germany, France, England, Scotland and more, chronicling my adventures on this blog. I also studied many things I'm passionate about and further developed my love of learning.
So now that I've set the stage, let's talk about July.
Having just returned back to the US of A from my 1 1/2 month-long stint in Germany, my brother Sullivan and I, both football fans, decided to make plans to attend a Panther's game in Charlotte. Sullivan decided to extend the invite and two of our mutual acquaintances ended up tagging along. One of them was a certain young man named Hudson Barry, a mutual friend of ours, and the other was Liam Kiser. Hudson and Liam met us in the parking lot of a grocery store in Boone on the morning of September 20th, to carpool with us to the first home game of the year, Panthers vs. Texans, at the Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte. Hudson had the wheel, Sulli and Liam took the backseat and claimed they had to sit together in order to watch a frisbee highlight reel from their last game.
Much to my surprise, this left me with the front seat and, well, Hudson to talk to.
"Well, this'll be awkward!" I thought to myself as I settled into the seat for the two and a half hour drive.
But it turned out to be anything but awkward. In fact, I remember noting to myself how at ease I felt while talking with him. He is an excellent listener and asks such good questions. And who doesn't want to feel like they are being listened to and that what they have to say is of value? Hudson and I hadn't talked in a good long while, and so our conversation ranged from his work to my work and travels, my studies, politics, and other topics for the two and a half hours it took us to drive to Charlotte.
After going through security a little worse for wear, what with Hudson having his binocular case confiscated for not meeting the size requirement, we continued on to our seats. The temperature soared into the 80's and that, in combination with the full sun that we sat under, had the general populous, including the four of us, sweating like pigs. The Panthers won that game against the Texans, and went on to best the New York Giants 38-35 in Week 14 and thus achieved a 14-0 record for the first time in franchise history. Until last week, they were the only undefeated team in the NFL. Coincidence? #keeppounding
 |
| The football game- Sullivan, Margaret, Liam and Hudson |
Yuck.
After the game we picked up my Father, who happened to be flying in from his trip in South Korea. As is fitting for an individual returning from foreign climes, we celebrated his return to the land of fried food and biscuits by eating at Bojangles before driving back to the mountains.
Six days passed. It was a normal, busy but manageable week. I filled baking orders. I continued the personal trainer course I was cranking away at. On the 26th of September, I was concluding a busy Saturday by relaxing and doing my nails, something which I don't do very often. I sat on a chair with headphones on, listening to one of my infamously diverse playlists set to shuffle. As Rachmaninoff finished and Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins began to play in the background, I was completely oblivious to what was about to transpire. My thoughts were just about as far away from suitors and marriage as they could be. I sat there, filing my nails. Eventually, I shut off the music and began to listen to a Ted Talk podcast.....on emotions, of all things.
About this time, my Father, who had just returned from a morning of selling our goods at the local Farmer's Market, walked in and said hello as he sat down nearby. My sixth sense told me that something was up. "Well, that is unusual!" I remember thinking as I saw him sit down out of the corner of my eye. Instinctively, I took my headphones off and let them slip around my neck.
He cleared his throat. As I recall, we exchanged normal chit chat before he began with what he really came in to tell me. "So, you know how you have said before many, many times that there are 'no guys around here' and that 'no one is interested in you and no one is watching/observing you?'"
"Yeah?"
"Well, a young man practically tracked me down today to ask about you."
I laughed and nonchalantly grabbed the nail file as I began to work on my other hand.
"Oh really? Who was it?"
Then he told me that a certain fellow had come forward and asked for permission to get to know me better with the intention of marriage. "He has been interested in you for several years, and holds you in very high regard." My mind raced with ideas of who this mysterious person could be. I bugged him to tell me who this person was, and after teasing me with more info on their meeting, he finally said:
".....and this person is Hudson Barry."
I almost fell off the chair. I was absolutely shocked when I found out that the guy was Hudson. Not shocked in the negative sense, mind you, this was the "I-didn't-see-this-coming" variety of shocked. And as my Father would later tell me, their conversation had started with:
"Dr Wilkes, I like your daughter very, very, much."
"Do you like her very, very, very much?
"Yes sir."
was his answer.
I was still in a relatively stable state of shock and excitement when my parents left to go out of town for the week. It worked out nicely, because I had that whole week to think this thing over and to pray about moving forward, or not moving forward.
Allow me to explain a bit more background.
Hudson and I have known each other for many, many years- ever since he and his family moved to the Boone area. Our earliest shared memory of seeing each other was playing on a playground together when we were around eight or nine. We were also in the same high school level Latin class taught by his cousin at the local homeschool co-op and would often see each other here and there, whether at community events, the farmer's market, frisbee games at the park, or Kolbitars, a meeting of the wise sages of the populous held at the John Barry's home. I've also been close with his cousins and other relatives that make up the famous Barry Mountain.
I had no idea that he was interested in me. ZERO. I didn't think for a minute that he was watching me or was interested in me, much less that he had been for years and years. I figured he was too refined, too serious and too gentlemanly for the likes of me. I tend to be rather loud, expressive, very energetic, and I talk with my hands. He's very genteel, controlled, calm, cool as a cucumber, with a wonderfully understated sense of humor. In other words, we are fairly opposite as far as personalities are concerned. For a while, before I really got to know him (oh, I cringe to admit this now!) I pictured him in my mind as this emotionless robot figure, trodding the ground with carefully measured steps, and meanwhile I was the hyper little bunny rabbit running in random non-symmetrical circles round his feet. But, after that week of consideration and prayer, I came to the conclusion that at the very least, I was interested in hearing him out and talking more with him. Something told me that the Lord was in this, even if I didn't "see" it yet.
The following Sunday evening my parents returned from Colorado, and my Father and Hudson went out to breakfast the next morning. He and my Father had several meetings hammering out questions and such before Hudson and I began to spend time together. My Father already knew him pretty well before going into their meetings together and he came away even more impressed, with glowing reviews. And let me tell you, when I heard that my Father, the toughest critic, was very impressed, and not only that, gave a two thumbs up from his vantage point, I sat up and took notice. His opinion of a man is of extreme value to me. But, as is my mode of operation, I did sit up and take interest - but very cautiously.
Our first date was on October 10th. He picked me up from the Farmer's Market and took me out for lunch at Panera Bread. Going into it, I was not sure what to expect, or what he might say, but one thing I did know was that I was already comfortable talking with him, as evidenced by our history and that trip to the football game a few weeks prior. The difference was that this time, the context and subject matter would have changed significantly since our last conversation. It was then that he shared he was absolutely honored that I would consider spending time with him. He also made it clear that he wanted to spend meaningful time with me and my family and in the process, be helpful in whatever practical ways he could- woodcutting, manual labor, pig-wrangling, etc.
On the way home, he needed help picking out steak for their evening meal and so naturally, we went steak shopping, as one does on their first date. On our third date we went on a Costco run to Winston Salem. No, that's not a joke. We (that is, Faith Mountain Farm) needed a re-stock of supplies, and so what better way to get in several hours of conversation time while simultaneously doing something useful? Israel, my brother, tagged along for good measure. We had a lot of beneficial conversation there and back on many topics. As a fellow history enthusiast, I was impressed when he correctly rattled off all of Hitler's high command during a conversation we had on World War II.
We had many other dates and opportunities to spend time together after that: walks on the Greenway and around Bass Lake in Blowing Rock, an App State football game. He visited my church, I visited his, we'd have dinner together in town or dinner at my place on the farm, the latter usually consisting of his being subjected to board games with the highly competitive younger members of the family after the meal. He was instantly a favorite with my entire family. During this time, we talked through lists of questions and asked each other plenty of our own as well. In October, he came out to help my brother cut firewood in the woods of our farm while I sauntered about nearby, picking rosehips and dilly-dallying in the fall leaves (clearly, I got the better end of the deal in that situation). My family, while very supportive, had certain younger members who enjoyed making, shall we say, 'amusing' comments. One sibling asked me to say a tongue twister and when "Hudson Husband" were declared to be the words of the supposed tongue twister, I considered throwing a death glare in the direction of the young'n responsible for the prank. But Prince Charming was in the vicinity so I didn't want to make a scene.
 |
| laughing with the siblings |
The more time I spent with him, the more I was impressed- with his character, his patient, forbearing attitude, and his thoughtfulness. Once, we went to a big party together, and I was sitting chatting and enjoying spending time with the family and friends that surrounded us. At one point towards the end of the evening, I noticed Hudson get up from his seat and go into the kitchen. After a half hour or so I began to be curious what he could be doing in there, and I craned my neck to see if I could see what was going on. Through the door I glimpsed him standing there in front of the sink- the sleeves of his button down rolled up to his elbows- washing away at the innumerable amount of dishes that were piled up next to the sink. Later when I inquired about his washing up the dishes, he said "It needed to be done, and someone has to do it."
At one point, the feelings began to show through, despite my rather carefully-guarded nature. While making plans for our next date, he asked me-
"Margaret are you going to be at the Farmer's market this Saturday ?"
"Oh I don't know..."
Mom cut in:
"Well if you (Hudson) will be there, she will wanna go"
Hudson looked very surprised.
"Huh? Wait......are we at that stage yet?"
I replied
"UH.....yes!!!"
I remember clearly the first time he gave me a hug goodbye. He asked me if he could give me a hug and I said yes, of course. I played it very cool at the time, but walked away feeling not entirely unlike Liesl from the Sound of Music in that iconic scene in which she was kissed by Rolf in the gazebo-
"Wheeeeeeeeee!"
 |
| First Picture together- November |
I enjoyed spending more time with him and his family, as well as he with my family. We reached a point where we had all but exhausted our questions for each other and also run out of controversial things to bring up that could have an impact on our relationship. We were quite pleased to see that we held the same views on the important things that mattered to us. But still, at one point, I felt overwhelmed with the choice that I knew would be coming soon- marry him, or not? One Sunday after church, when discussing our plans for the upcoming week, he suggested we spend some time thinking and praying apart from each other to get more clarity on our relationship. It was during our discussion of these plans that Hudson reminded me of Philippians 4:6-7, the bible verse that had become somewhat of a theme verse for us in our relationship:
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
I agreed it would be for the best, and so that week I continued to pray for more clarity and discernment. I tend to overthink things something fierce, and my mind is a rather difficult thing to put at ease. Thus, it is all the more miraculous to say that I reached a definite point where I realized that I had no reservations, no questions, no growing doubts in my mind that this is what the Lord was leading me to do, and that this man I had was the Real Deal. I knew what I was going to say if he asked me.
At this point, I had a hunch that he would probably propose to me in the "near future," but had no idea when he might choose to do so, and I certainly wasn't expecting him to propose anytime VERY soon. On Saturday, November 21st, he picked me up and took me to McKethans BBQ for lunch. He seemed uncommonly relaxed on this particular day, and we enjoyed our food together. I laughed as he suggested if he might ask the waitress "so, do the entrees come on trays?" Turns out, they did.
Then we drove out to Bass Lake. On the way We walked a little ways around the path, and he seemed preoccupied with finding "a nice, sunny spot to sit" and it made sense, as it was rather cold in the shade. It was soon determined that the trail up to Cone Manor was two miles either way and we didn't have the time to do all of it. Seeing as the best sun and additional hiking was up at Cone Manor, we got back in the car and drove there on the Parkway. We looked at the map and as we walked around, I remember him looking this way and that, as if he was searching for a specific spot- either that, I mused, or he was being followed by the CIA. Then, we began walking up the trail that leads to the old fire tower. He looked over to the left and said "hey, you know, I'd almost like to walk through that field and maybe we could get atop one of those hills."
I remember thinking-
"Ok, well that's all well and fine, but why? This path is just dandy?"
After locating a section of barbed wire that was not entirely operational, we carefully slipped under it and started our walk off-road. After hopping across a small stream, we climbed up the hill and in the process, nearly photobombed a couple standing in the distance ahead of us taking pictures. I half wonder if they got pictures of our disembodied heads on the horizon for one of their photos! The view was lovely. You could see Grandfather and Sugar mountain, and many other mountains looming in the distance. It was the perfect late-fall day, and the sky was perfectly clear, with the three o' clock sun beaming down upon us as we stood taking in the view.
"You know, I wish I had some sort of clever scheme or something......"
As his voice trailed off, and I thought-
"Huh? where is he going with that?"
There was an artful pause for effect as he produced the ring, which I immediately spotted and loudly exclaimed, so loudly that it drowned out his first word which was "Margaret,"
The poor guy tried again, this time my squeals were contained enough for him to get his words out.
"Margaret,
....will you marry me?"
I saw the ring, which he produced from his side pocket as I squealed and immediately put my hands to my face in disbelief. I'd always thought of myself as too dignified for squealing and such, as is the typical panicked yet joyful reaction of girls being proposed to -but I couldn't help it. It just came out. I looked at the beautiful ring in disbelief and exclaimed over and over "REALLY? REALLY?"
This takes a long time to say, but in reality it was but a few seconds. He then spoke again to remind me that he was, in fact, still there.
".....will you?"
"YES!!!!! YES!!!!"
I practically screamed in his ear.
Tears came to my eyes as he said "let me put this on, if I remember which finger it's supposed to go on."
And then we managed a few pictures with my iPhone that I had happened to bring.
On the way home, we called our parents.
"Hello?"
"Hi Mother, it's Margaret."
"Oh, hi! How are you?"
"I'm engaged, how are you?"
*harmonious screams of joy were heard on the phone*
We also texted his parents and other relatives and friends of note, and also talked to and shared the news with his cousin Daniel, who happened to call for a completely unrelated reason. (Hey Daniel! You rock!)
Later on, we were able to have dinner with his family and share the whole story with them.
That evening, Sarah, my future sister-in-law, asked for my phone number to send me one of the pictures she took. Hudson then declared that he might need to get my number too, at some point. We all had a good laugh at the realization that he didn't even have my cell number- one of the first things a guy might ask a girl for in a modern dating relationship. While it is true that he had my home phone number -and even that was used sparingly!- all of our interactions and important conversations had been face-to-face. This said to me that we had success at creating a real, face-to-face relationship, absent of the typical texting or technology-based relationship that is commonplace these days. Also, in our culture, it seems to be the protocol that one "fall in love" first, ask questions later. In our case, we asked questions first, "fell in love" later.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
I agreed it would be for the best, and so that week I continued to pray for more clarity and discernment. I tend to overthink things something fierce, and my mind is a rather difficult thing to put at ease. Thus, it is all the more miraculous to say that I reached a definite point where I realized that I had no reservations, no questions, no growing doubts in my mind that this is what the Lord was leading me to do, and that this man I had was the Real Deal. I knew what I was going to say if he asked me.
At this point, I had a hunch that he would probably propose to me in the "near future," but had no idea when he might choose to do so, and I certainly wasn't expecting him to propose anytime VERY soon. On Saturday, November 21st, he picked me up and took me to McKethans BBQ for lunch. He seemed uncommonly relaxed on this particular day, and we enjoyed our food together. I laughed as he suggested if he might ask the waitress "so, do the entrees come on trays?" Turns out, they did.
Then we drove out to Bass Lake. On the way We walked a little ways around the path, and he seemed preoccupied with finding "a nice, sunny spot to sit" and it made sense, as it was rather cold in the shade. It was soon determined that the trail up to Cone Manor was two miles either way and we didn't have the time to do all of it. Seeing as the best sun and additional hiking was up at Cone Manor, we got back in the car and drove there on the Parkway. We looked at the map and as we walked around, I remember him looking this way and that, as if he was searching for a specific spot- either that, I mused, or he was being followed by the CIA. Then, we began walking up the trail that leads to the old fire tower. He looked over to the left and said "hey, you know, I'd almost like to walk through that field and maybe we could get atop one of those hills."
I remember thinking-
"Ok, well that's all well and fine, but why? This path is just dandy?"
After locating a section of barbed wire that was not entirely operational, we carefully slipped under it and started our walk off-road. After hopping across a small stream, we climbed up the hill and in the process, nearly photobombed a couple standing in the distance ahead of us taking pictures. I half wonder if they got pictures of our disembodied heads on the horizon for one of their photos! The view was lovely. You could see Grandfather and Sugar mountain, and many other mountains looming in the distance. It was the perfect late-fall day, and the sky was perfectly clear, with the three o' clock sun beaming down upon us as we stood taking in the view.
"You know, I wish I had some sort of clever scheme or something......"
As his voice trailed off, and I thought-
"Huh? where is he going with that?"
There was an artful pause for effect as he produced the ring, which I immediately spotted and loudly exclaimed, so loudly that it drowned out his first word which was "Margaret,"
The poor guy tried again, this time my squeals were contained enough for him to get his words out.
"Margaret,
....will you marry me?"
I saw the ring, which he produced from his side pocket as I squealed and immediately put my hands to my face in disbelief. I'd always thought of myself as too dignified for squealing and such, as is the typical panicked yet joyful reaction of girls being proposed to -but I couldn't help it. It just came out. I looked at the beautiful ring in disbelief and exclaimed over and over "REALLY? REALLY?"
This takes a long time to say, but in reality it was but a few seconds. He then spoke again to remind me that he was, in fact, still there.
".....will you?"
"YES!!!!! YES!!!!"
I practically screamed in his ear.
Tears came to my eyes as he said "let me put this on, if I remember which finger it's supposed to go on."
And then we managed a few pictures with my iPhone that I had happened to bring.
On the way home, we called our parents.
"Hello?"
"Hi Mother, it's Margaret."
"Oh, hi! How are you?"
"I'm engaged, how are you?"
*harmonious screams of joy were heard on the phone*
We also texted his parents and other relatives and friends of note, and also talked to and shared the news with his cousin Daniel, who happened to call for a completely unrelated reason. (Hey Daniel! You rock!)
Later on, we were able to have dinner with his family and share the whole story with them.
That evening, Sarah, my future sister-in-law, asked for my phone number to send me one of the pictures she took. Hudson then declared that he might need to get my number too, at some point. We all had a good laugh at the realization that he didn't even have my cell number- one of the first things a guy might ask a girl for in a modern dating relationship. While it is true that he had my home phone number -and even that was used sparingly!- all of our interactions and important conversations had been face-to-face. This said to me that we had success at creating a real, face-to-face relationship, absent of the typical texting or technology-based relationship that is commonplace these days. Also, in our culture, it seems to be the protocol that one "fall in love" first, ask questions later. In our case, we asked questions first, "fell in love" later.
A note about the ring: This is a picture of the ring that Hudson inherited from his Grandfather, with the diamond originally belonging to his Great-Great-Great Grandmother. It is a European-cut diamond, which is much older than the setting, which hails from the 1920's. We are currently working towards getting it re-set in a gorgeous Victorian-esque filigree design.
I was looking at some old pictures a couple days after we were engaged and I suddenly realized that I had this particular picture taken by my friend Savannah. Two years ago, some of my dear friends and I sat watching the summer sunset on a hillside in Blowing Rock, right off the Blue Ridge Parkway. She snapped this picture and it was my facebook profile picture for a while thereafter. I realized with a start that the large hill seen there in the background is the exact same hill on which Hudson would propose to me, two years later.
I have been given a great gift, one that I was completely oblivious to- he was there the whole time!
I have the right to brag, so I shall dispense with some bragging. He makes me laugh. He encourages me, both practically and in the Lord. He has a great sense of humor. He is extremely thoughtful and treats me like a lady, the kind of gentleman who will park the car a certain way just to make sure he can open the door for me. He's very handsome, like he just walked off-screen from a World War II era movie. He jumps right in to help, with a smile, with whatever one might need help doing. He will pray with me at any time.
In entrusting the Lord with the desires of my heart and declaring to him my lack of understanding at my needs, he has gifted me, however undeservedly, with the very best. We are getting married on March 19th, 2016.
"To God be the glory, great things he hath done!"
I have the right to brag, so I shall dispense with some bragging. He makes me laugh. He encourages me, both practically and in the Lord. He has a great sense of humor. He is extremely thoughtful and treats me like a lady, the kind of gentleman who will park the car a certain way just to make sure he can open the door for me. He's very handsome, like he just walked off-screen from a World War II era movie. He jumps right in to help, with a smile, with whatever one might need help doing. He will pray with me at any time.
 |
| Hudson concentrates on the card game; meanwhile, Margaret goofs off. |
In entrusting the Lord with the desires of my heart and declaring to him my lack of understanding at my needs, he has gifted me, however undeservedly, with the very best. We are getting married on March 19th, 2016.
"To God be the glory, great things he hath done!"
