A Step Heavenward: Poland: Auschwitz-Birkenau

Woke up to a lovely sunrise here in Poland and enjoyed a (few) precious minutes of quiet stretching out on the balcony. Heard a rooster crowing nearby, so I felt at home, though I was 5,000 some miles away from home.

I was the last one down to breakfast and when I arrived, it felt like I just sat down to a homemade breakfast at the table of a Polish Granny. It felt so home-y and had a few of my favorite things-tea, butter, veggies (cucumbers and tomatoes) and various meats. The mustard alone was crazy good.

And now, let's dispense with the chit chat and go to the subject at hand. I have so many thoughts to share, because today, we visited the most notorious of all Nazi camps, Auschwitz. We also saw the adjacent camp, Birkenau (Auschwitz II.)

{watchtower, Birkenau}

Words feel like such a poor medium with which to describe visiting such a place, but I will make an attempt, however futile, to share some of those thoughts with you, as I sit in the car on my way to Berlin.

When you visit a concentration camp, you almost have to mentally prepare yourself beforehand, as it is not something to take lightly, visiting a place where so many innocent people died-most, for merely being born with Jewish blood.

I was surprised that George and Arnheidur brought all three kids to Auschwitz. I know that if I had found out about the holocaust any earlier than I did, I would have been pretty bad off, I wouldn't have been able to handle it. But it's their decision, not mine, and thankfully the kids didn't see much of the camps or exhibits, they mostly waited outside.

While we were waiting, we met a doctor and his wife, a retired nurse, who were from Portland. He mentioned how he enjoyed working and collaborating with his Carolina colleagues from Duke medical and such. He was also well versed in NC basketball rivalries. As he mentioned later, he was impressed with Aunt Rach said he couldn't believe she was nearly 80. She's sharp as a tack, believe you me.

Before our tour of the camps began, we watched a film that was made up entirely of newsreels taken by Ukranian and Red Army soldiers when they liberated the camp. It was haunting, to say the least. One part that moved me to most was when it showed the rescued group of children who, when they were asked their names, pulled up their sleeves to show the tattooed number on their arms.

They were "just" a number there, a statistic, a flick of the pen on a yellowed card in a file cabinet. They were also "just" innocent children.

Of the estimated six million Jews that perished in the holocaust, one million died here, at Auschwitz-Birkenau.

{gate, Auschwitz}

Once they arrived, some lived for only a few hours. Or days.

We learned that selection process happened right after the trains arrived at the camp. It meant that the SS doctors and officials determined which individuals would work, and who could not work. 70-75% of those that arrived died within a few hours of arriving at Auschwitz.

The picture that had the biggest impact on me was this one. A black and white photograph shows of a group of older ladies and several Mothers surrounded by their children. They had just been through the selection process and were deemed "unfit for work." They were walking down the gravel path to go "take a shower."

The exhibits were extremely moving, to say the least.

The camp operators literally took everything the Jews had to call their own, down to the shoes on their feet. Their clothes. Eyeglasses.

The very hair of their head.

There were exhibits that had a small portion of these "collected" items preserved for viewing after they were discovered at liberation.

Here are some of the confiscated suitcases.

There was one with my name on it.

"Did you cry at all?"

Absolutely I did.

At one point, I waited until our tour group had left the room just stood there and bawled, as I looked upon the toothbrushes, the clothes, the hair, the little tiny sets of clothes. The boots, that were worn on the feet of the abused, the oppressed, the used.

Let me tell you something. When you stand with feet planted on the execution range, looking up at the same sky that was oftentimes the last thing a convicted victim might see, it becomes unbelievably real to you and you are overcome with grief for these people.

{sky, with back to firing range wall}

The rest of our crew grew tired of keeping up with the tour group, which went through all of Auschwitz and the adjacent camp Birkenau. They moved at a very fast clip, and so I continued with the group for the remainder of the tour and took notes and pictures. We saw the ruins of the crematorium, saw the camp "kitchen," the washroom (which wasn't built until many months after the camp opened.)

We also visited a model barracks. I noticed the barracks were quite warm upon entering and I can't imagine how hot it must have been filled with 700 to 1,000 people crammed into bunks that were much too small.

{barracks, Birkenau}

Then we ended our tour near back at the beginning of Birkenau, where its iconic watchtower stands, straddling the train tracks as it eerily looks out over the camp.

{watch tower, Birkenau}

I didn't see my crew anywhere yet, and while I waited, I walked over to what I thought was the bathroom. As fate would have it, turned out to be the stairs to go up in the watchtower mentioned previously, and my tour guide lady stood nearby and asked me if I wanted to go up. Apparently, I was the only one in our group that was there and wanted to go up, and so she scanned her tag on the turnstile and I was off.

I had it all to myself, for about 20 minutes, which was very unusual. It was both incredible and chilling to be up there. I could see the whole of the vast expanse that was Birkenau spread out before me. I imagined what it would be like to keep watch here. I leaned out the open front window, and took it all in.

{view from watchtower}

{view from watch tower and train tracks, looking over Birkenau}

Then, I decided that I would use the watchtower as, well, a watchtower, to find the rest of my crew as they walked back from the crematorium ruins, where I had last seen them.

I could see people, in detail, down to the color of their shirt, from a very great distance up in the watchtower. I guess that was the point.

I scanned the many walkways and the death march road beside me. I waited to see three kids, a lady with a cane, and a guy in a green shirt appear on the white gravel. And not too long afterwards, I did. This is what they looked like from up in the tower.

I could see them quite clearly from my vantage point and I waited until they came to the gate and I met them there.

Then George and I went back to Auschwitz and took some more pictures we didn't get on round one.

{Auschwitz}

{the "prison within the prison" cell block, Auschwitz}

{between the wire, Auschwitz}

Question: how was Hitler able to lead a people and a country into such deep, deep darkness?

Many have debated on the reason of why exactly he was able to do so, but my personal belief is the following. If was the "perfect storm," so to speak: the combination of an economy gone bad, sore feelings and a sense of entitlement leftover from the previous World War (see: Treaty of Versailles, and the Disarmament of Germany.)

And also critically important was his promise that he would restore again the glory of the Fatherland as it was before the great defeat that was WWI. He also had the ear of the German people, who possessed a level of commitment to their country that bordered on the fanatic. They were hungry for change, for action of some kind.

{gate, Auschwitz}

It's incredible how being in a place such as Auschwitz-Burkenau has the power to strip away any gripes or complaints you may have about your present situation or station in life and all that's left is.....well, gratefulness. For what one has. For just being alive.

{photos of early Jewish victims, Auschwitz}

But there is also sadness, sorrow, mourning, and perhaps anger towards the perpetrators of this terror.

{train tracks leading into Birkenau}

Yes, it is natural that some would grow angry and frustrated at the injustice here, at the depth of the depravity of humankind to carry out such atrocities. And they wonder:

"why?"

"Where is the justice?"

"What about the perpetrators of this murder and melee?"

{shoes, Auschwitz}

On the film that I mentioned we watched with the footage from the liberation, in closing, the announcer said "...So, how can this great wrong be made right? How can these innocents be avenged?" and then, the world's answer: "all we can do is not repeat the same mistake- never again."

{barrack lock, Birkenau}

And with that, the film ended. The lights flicked on. Depressing, huh?

{ash pit and memorial, Birkenau}

Well, I take issue with that pessimistic viewpoint. Yes, it is true that we must never EVER forget, but one day, all will indeed be made right, and I rest in that fact.

{bunkers, Auschwitz}

God is the ultimate judge.

"Vengeance is mine, I will repay!" saith the Lord.

{Erla and I walk down the road most never returned from-the "shower walk."}

The day is coming when the men that perpetrated this violence will stand- and I will stand-and you will stand-before God to give account. That should be a very scary thing to think about, if one had to stand there and face judgement without the one who pleads on our behalf, Jesus.

It moved me to visit here, and it moved me the right direction. To be thankful for every day that God gives me, and for everything he has given me. Life is too short to be selfish or to be unthankful. I'm preaching to myself here. This is my own little Ebenezer of sorts, to look back upon.

{barbed wire, Auschwitz}